


The New Office

by LivetoDream333 (orphan_account)



Series: Double-O Drabbles [34]
Category: James Bond (Craig movies)
Genre: BAMF M, BAMF Q, Crack, Don't Judge Me, I Don't Even Know, I do it because I can, I had fun, James 'defends' Q's honor, M/M, New M, OOC, Or really in character...can't tell, voldemort - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-07
Updated: 2014-12-07
Packaged: 2018-02-28 12:43:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,373
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2732972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/LivetoDream333
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There used to be a bulldog on the desk and M used to be frightening.<br/>Now M is more relaxed...but the thing on his desk terrifies all.<br/>In which Q is a genius and M is scary.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The New Office

**Author's Note:**

> I am really sick and have been for about a month and a half. The announcement of Spectre made me smile though and since today's been pretty awful I decided I needed something to smile about, so I wrote this...  
> I would really love to see this, for real though.

The New Office

 

Things had changed in MI6 since M's death. Q-Branch had decided that they very much liked their new tunnels and had convinced everyone that their branch was to be moved to the basement of MI6 once it had been rebuilt. Q's office looked down on the branch and the plaque on his door read:  _Supreme Overlord._ The security of the entire building was revamped, as Q himself had spent all of his free time seeing to the repairs and the rebuilding of the security in the building. Q had then asked three separate Double-Os to try to break into any of the secure areas of the building...none of them could, but Q had quickly needed to stop Alec from detonating a bomb in his frustration and need for 'pretty fire'.

Another huge change was in the people...well, one of them specifically. James Bond settled down, with Q, it took a few months, but they both eventually gave into the tension between them...which eventually became more than a (not) very simple friends-with-benefits scenario. No one expected James to be domestic, at all. Eve teased him that it was because he was becoming an old man.

But one thing had changed that wasn't good, not at all.

"Overlord! Overlord!" A minion called loudly, rushing up the stairs to Q's office with wide eyes. She looked frightened and pale, worried. She didn't even seem to notice that James was in the room, rubbing the tension out of Q's shoulders.

"What is it 23?" Q wondered.

"Sir...M called for a copy of our report for the new Door Opener..."

"And you're panicking?" James asked. "I know you boffins like computers, but pressing print isn't so hard..." The he noticed Q's face. He looked pale and frightened.

"I already hit print you idiot... Overlord, I beg you, don't send me up there. Please. You know my blood status. I'll never come back alive." 23 said worriedly. Q took a deep breath and nodded slowly. He held out his hand.

"No good Overlord would let any of their minions step into harm's way." Q assured her, taking the papers from her.

"Thank you, Overlord." She bowed her head towards him. "Be safe, it's dangerous up there."

"I will try to return. However, if I don't make sure no one else gets the title of Supreme Overlord."

"Yes, Supreme Overlord." She bowed again before rushing out of the room, as if afraid Q would change his mind. Q got up and sighed.

"What the hell was that?"

"You could have a bit more sympathy, James. There is a high chance I could die."

"Don't say that. Don't even joke..."

"I'm not. My blood is muddy, that's worse than 23. Come with me and protect me?" Q asked with pleading eyes, fiddling with his sleeve.

"Um...it's just M."

"That's what he wants you to think."

800Q8

"Is he in a good, bad, or meh mood?" Q asked Eve worriedly.

"I never get why you ask that... Good means he'd kill happily, bad means he'll kill everything, and meh means your death might be his only entertainment." Eve frowned.

"Good point... But...?"

"Meh."

"Oh no..." James had never seen someone knock so tentatively on M's office door. 

"Come in." Q pushed James in first and followed him in shyly. "James and Q...why am I a little worried?" M wondered. Q's eyes never left the corner of M's desk. 

"Just bringing the uh...paperwork." Q said cautiously.

"You needed James for that?"

"I don't understand either." James shrugged.

"Just set it down right here." Q winced when M's hand came within grabbing range of the object in the corner. He rubbed his forearm gently and slowly stepped forward to put the paper down. In a quick movement M had his hand on the wand on his desk and Q had a wand out from his sleeve. "Expeliarm-"

"Expelliarmus!" M finished the word fist and the light at the end of Q's wand went dark. "Really Q, you need to be quicker on the draw..." M sighed.

"Please don't kill me."

"Torturing you would be more fun." M shrugged. "But I'll let it slide this time, since you were brave enough to show your face up here." M sighed. "Leave, before I decide to paint my walls with your muddy blood after all." Q grabbed James' hand and ran out of the room, slamming the door.

"Q, you're alive?" Eve asked worriedly, pulling him into a hug.

"He was merciful. Don't know how he talks so damn fast."

"You-Know-Who works in mysterious ways." Eve shrugged.

"What in the hell just happened?"

"Oh...you don't know?" Q asked with wide eyes. "I got bored a few weeks ago and made Harry Potter wands. See, there are only a few things I could actually get to function, but if you put five little sensors on the body you can get some 'spells' to work. Each wand only works with the voice of it's wielder. Expelliarmus disarms your opponent, in that you're own wand shuts down the want you're pointing at for thirty seconds. Crucio sends shocks to the aforementioned sensors on the body-and it hurts like a bitch. Stupify zaps you. Alohomora turns on a program in the wand that hacks electronic locks to open doors. Avada Kedavra is scary because it makes you pass out for a time...not fun."

"You did this?"

"Yup, took me a week. We all got sorted into houses and everything. Eve is a Gryffindor, I'm a Ravenclaw, Tanner is a Gryffindor, R is a Hufflepuff. Eve is half-blood, I'm muggle born, Tanner is pure blood, R's half-blood. Tanner, unfortunately, is protected from M, because of their relationship."

"And M what is he?" James wondered.

"He's Lord Voldemort, obviously." Q stated.

"Q!" Eve snapped in warning.

"Sorry, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named." Q whispered, glancing over his shoulder worriedly.

"Are you Harry Potter?"

"Hell no. M's the only actual character from the series... I mean... He even looks like You-Know-Who."

"Don't let him hear that. He tortured Tanner for a similar comment. He insists he doesn't look like him because he's got a nose."

"Nose or not he looks like him...and is viscous."

"And...my not bringing a gun back is hell on the budget?" James asked. 

"Yes, it is, because if you don't bring your gun back I don't have the money for wands." Q frowned. "Good news is that I had money to make you one. The rule is that if you have your wand on you the sensors have to be there too, so that it's fair. Also, you need to be sorted. I bet you're a Gryffindor."

"He'd make a great Slytherin, though."

"I'm surprised you aren't one, actually." Q commented. "You did miss it by one point, you know."

"So...M's the best?" James asked.

"Yeah... I'm second in dueling...but he get's me every time. It's rather upsetting." Q frowned.

"I'll defend your honor if you give me my wand."

"Really?"

"He'll never see me coming." James promised with a smile.

"I wish you luck... Make sure you practice before going against him...he's always prepared, don't let him fool you."

800Q8

James looked around and smiled at the cameras, which Q had-thankfully-turned off M's access to, looping the footage. "Alohomora..." James whispered, waiting a moment for the door to open.

800Q8

When Q walked into his office, James was laying on the floor, unconscious. "No!" Q ran forward and wrapped his arms around James, looking up angrily at M who sat in his chair with a smirk. "You bastard!"

"Next time you decide to loop the footage, take into account that Eve is a creature of habit and I notice when people are acting strangely." M chuckled. "Be careful, mudblood...wouldn't want to loose everything you have, would you?" 

"No, my Lord..."

"Good."

"Did he at least get close?" Q wondered.

"Let him get the first word out to humor him." M shrugged.

"Did he go for  _Avada Kedavra_?" Q asked his wand pointed at M's chest. His body jerked and then fell limp in Q's chair. "I've avenged you, my love." Q smiled, kissing James' forehead.

**Author's Note:**

> Seriously....can Mallory have Voldemort's wand on his desk? For real? It would make my life better than the bleh it is now.  
> Happy holidays.


End file.
